


Attraction and Closeness

by boxofhatebrains



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, in between show and endless waltz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:55:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28604052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofhatebrains/pseuds/boxofhatebrains
Summary: "I might not see you again, huh?" Duo asked and it was rough against the silence. He looked Heero in the eyes, searching for something Heero couldn't guess at."Maybe not. I don't know. My life has been unpredictable,"  Heero answered honestly, wondering if this was his friend's way of saying goodbye. He had learned throughout his mission that it's hard, very hard for people to say goodbye - it, in fact, almost killed Quatre."Oh, good," Duo offered him a wry, nervous smile, "Then you'll be ready for this."There was a pause and it was like Duo was teasing him, waiting for Heero to ask. But as Heero opened his mouth, Duo said, "Sleep with me."Plainly, without waver. Just like that.
Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	Attraction and Closeness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dracadancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracadancer/gifts).



There had been some sort of attraction when he first met Duo. Heero hadn't known what it meant and gradually accepted it as friendship - something warm, sometimes awkward, sometimes unnerving. He had felt something different for each gundam pilot; comfort with Quatre, kinship with Trowa, and sorry for Wufei. Emotions grew over time with each of them, carving out a place inside himself that was at times painful and, at other times, somehow relieving. Even he, too, could become a part of someone's life. For so many years he had been taught how to avoid that; infiltrate, eliminate, don't show your face, and (this constantly hammered) don't get close.   
  
So, he became accustomed to the mixed emotions that Duo pulled from him, whether Duo knew it or not. The air of competition, the stable respect, their easy silences, and that certain X factor - the unknown element, the attraction. It was just something that was part of Duo, he believed, something unique to Duo that others may have felt, too.  
  
***  
  
It came as surprise, a punch to the gut, when he realized that the mysterious feeling was something more sexual and that Duo reciprocated.  
  
As the world celebrated its survival, as Quatre slept in a hospital bed after surgery, and as Wufei sat all night with blood on his hands, Duo had showed up at Heero's door.  
  
"Hi," Duo sighed and smiled wearily. Sounds of laughter bounced down the halls.  
  
"Yes?" Heero asked from the half-opened door; in the room, his luggage was half-packed.  
  
"You're leaving, aren't you?" Duo asked abruptly and Heero paused a second, only a second, but Duo caught it and softly joked, "Should have been a psychic, huh?"  
  
"I have a lot to think about."  
  
"Yeah," Duo agreed, "We all do, but I think you should stay a little longer. Just another day. For Quatre, maybe. Or Wufei, he looked like hell."  
  
"I can't," Heero answered and felt a sting of guilt. He had never been selfish in his life, but he suspected that he was acting like it. When people needed him, he couldn't be there. It was too much. He needed time. He needed space. He needed to be anonymous for one more time, just one more time, while he sorted things out.  
  
"Move aside," Duo commanded, his jaw set, holding the door from sliding or moving, "Let me in for a minute."  
  
"Fine," Heero didn't want to argue, he wanted to make this as clean a cut as he could. No blood, no broken bones - if he had to take a few minutes to ensure that, he would.  
  
Duo saw the bags on the bed and his expression softened. He laughed shallowly and said, "You really don't waste time, do you? It's been _four_ hours."  
  
Heero didn't know if that was a compliment or an insult, so he just gave a brief nod.  
  
"I might not see you again, huh?" Duo asked and it was rough against the silence. He looked Heero in the eyes, searching for something Heero couldn't guess at.  
  
"Maybe not. I don't know. My life has been unpredictable," Heero answered honestly, wondering if this was his friend's way of saying goodbye. He had learned throughout his mission that it's hard, _very hard_ for people to say goodbye - it, in fact, almost killed Quatre.   
  
"Oh, good," Duo offered him a wry, nervous smile, "Then you'll be ready for this."  
  
There was a pause and it was like Duo was teasing him, waiting for Heero to ask. But as Heero opened his mouth, Duo said, "Sleep with me."  
  
Plainly, without waver. Just like that.   
  
"I...don't understand," Heero replied a moment after a puzzled stillness.  
  
"I'm attracted to you," Duo sighed out and was on the verge of nervous laughter, but didn't chuckle, instead swallowed it and followed up with saying, "I've felt an attraction between us. I like you. You like me. It feels good."  
  
 _Good?_ Heero wouldn't have described it like that, but maybe it was something close to good.   
  
"So, you're leaving," Duo continued, "And I may never get the opportunity again. And I'm vulnerable right now...so you should take advantage of that."  
  
There was a grin at the end, but Heero didn't see, _heard it_ , but didn't see it as his eyes lowered to Duo's hands, to the faint outline of his groin, to the possibility, to uncertainty.  
  
But Heero didn't know how to say yes. Heero didn't know what to do with the feelings, how to label them and arrange them. He didn't understand them, didn't know if that was how he should be feeling - his instincts told him to run, but something held him there. Hormones, chemicals moving in his body, the closeness, the heat, the connection that he never had before - _what was it?_ What made him even entertain that _yes_? What exactly did Duo do to make him respond that way? Words? Gestures? Scent? Emotion? Physical? Over and over in his mind, things blurred haphazardly. And in the end, he didn't have a reply, nor an answer.  
  
"Don't over-think it," Duo warned, and stepped closer - _his scent?_ \- his face near to Heero's. "Just don't break my arm, ok?" he joked - _his words?_ \- but it sounded strained, "I want to kiss you."  
  
His lips were closer, hovered, lingered by, until they were just there, on Heero's. Moving, _pushing_ , pulling, pressure, wetness, warmth, confusion, _arousal_ , moving, moaning. Duo kissed Heero softly, chaste at first before opening, sucking - _nipping_. Heero responded slowly, sluggishly, and felt dizzy. Kissing, feeling the lips, but so much more than lips - something deeper - and so Heero opened his mouth and his arousal grew, shook him. Hands on his face, then more restlessly sliding to pull his hair, _closer, closer_ \- he felt like his was going to merge into Duo.   
  
Duo's rough hands slipped down, moving over jaw, _kiss_ , neck, _lick_ , arms, _suck_ , to his pants, pulling down. Suddenly, Heero fully realized what was happening, how close he really was, wondered how it had led to this point - from day one, when he was being pulled from the womb into the dark world. The blood of the womb to the blood of death. Learning how to hold a gun. Being on Earth for the first time. Learning new things. His first kill. The girl. The snow. Duo. Relena. The others. The sharp face of Zero...And now what?

He felt young for the first time in his life as Duo's hands slid under his shirt and trailed down, touching the head of Heero's erection with the tips of his fingers. Outside people laughed and cheered. In the universe, people prayed and partied, and mourned, and fucked...But Duo's lips on his neck was new and soft and absolutely terrifying. Feeling young and fallible, slapping Heero in the face. Heero pulled back.  
  
"Do you love me?" Heero asked because he had never heard it said before, because he had never asked before, even when he should have once before in his life.  
  
"Do I need to?" Duo's swollen lips formed the words without grin or joke.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"For you to fuck me." Duo murmured and kissed him again, more desperately before pulled back to bite/whisper against his ear, "I told you I'm vulnerable."  
  
But they _all_ were and it sounded so empty to Heero's ear. How could they not be? Everything so close to crumbling apart...so close...Duo was so close to Heero, pressing naked skin together. _Vulnerable._  
  
"Fuck me," Duo pushed through his lips as his teeth tugged on Heero's ear and slid down his neck, the thoughts and possibility echoing in his brain.  
  
And he couldn't.  
  
He pulled back, placed a hand against Duo and pushed.  
  
"I can't," he said, plainly.  
  
He didn't know how to fuck anyone, but he didn't pull back because of that. Even if he wanted...  
  
"It's ok-" Duo started to disagree, hands reaching for Heero.  
  
"No," Heero breathed out, his eyes looking at Duo, Duo's skin and scars, his erection, his eyes...  
  
Duo sighed, frowned darkly, and then spat, "Just one night, before you left, you can't even give me that, huh? Yeah, I know how good you are at that disappearing act. Thanks, _buddy_."  
  
There was rejection, the reaction, the anger, the betrayel in his eyes. Duo scooped up his clothes, shook them vehemently to hastily pull back on.  
  
"Thanks a whole lot, _pal_. Not one lousy night."  
  
There was silence as Duo slipped on his shirt and waited for a response.   
  
"That's not what it was," Heero quietly replied.  
  
"Then fool me, Heero. What is it?!" Anger, hurt apparent in every word, in every gesture.   
  
"What I felt toward you. That's not what I felt towards you."  
  
And somehow that hurt Duo more than he thought it would. Heero saw his face fall, he blinked a couple times, his hand wiped his face roughly.   
  
"I guess," Duo stumbled with the words, "Wow, I guess I made a fool out of myself."  
  
"There's something physical, but it's not curiousity," Heero explained slowly as he worked through it, sorted it, moved it into words, "If I slept with you now, like this, it's just curiosity. It would be an experiment. I think we would both be disappointed. I don't think it would come naturally."  
  
"I don't," Duo paused to swallow, "I don't get what you mean. Experiment? What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm not ready for this," Heero clarified, more confidant of what he was saying, "I don't think that either of us are."  
  
Duo scoffed, "Ready? Heero, I've had sex before."  
  
"But not with me." It sounded sharp, final. Sobered the anger in Duo.  
  
There was a pause. Duo searched Heero, his eyes, face, body, hands, then slowly shook his head. Distant music played, people celebrated.  
  
"You're right...Not with you." Duo sighed and scratched his head, "Will I see you again?"  
  
"I don't know. I can't promise anything."  
  
"If I do, can we at least have sex then? Rain check?"  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
A dry laugh crackled from Duo's lips and he replied weakly, "You're not just giving me anything, are you?"  
  
"I'm giving you exactly what you want - the truth."  
  
"That's the ironic thing, huh?" Duo muttered, shifting his weight.  
  
Heero paused, not knowing what else to do or say. His erection had gradually diminished and there was a dull ache in his stomach. He bent and pulled up his pants, secured them, watching the other man.  
  
"What now? Should I leave?" Duo asked, but it was hoarse, tightly strained.   
  
"You should check on your friend...and Quatre."  
  
"While you leave?"  
  
"Do you want to watch me go?" Heero wondered, taken aback.   
  
Duo hesitated, there was something beyond it and Heero thought he could almost feel it. He surprised himself by _wanting_ to feel it.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Before Heero left, before he wandered throughout the universe to find himself, they kissed one last time. No words were exchanged and Heero didn't look back.   
  
Duo stayed behind to pick up the pieces, stumbling back through the hallways filled with jubilance and a new-found hope...

**Author's Note:**

> I figured some good ol' fashioned 1x2x1 fun was in order. Cheers!


End file.
